In what ways does life give you second chances? More importantly, what do you do with the second chances when they circle themseves around?

I'm the classic case of doing something the same way each time, which qualifies me as downright stupid, as a testament to Mr. Dwyer's quote cupboard that I saw every day for four years straight in high school. What's it going to take, you know, for me to get out of my own head, say I'm going to do something, and then do it?

I'm so mad at myself; the bad part is that I make myself feel that way. Second chances don't come around often and it's important to take advantage of them when they come up, but even as I write those words, I feel hypocritical because it doesn't translate onto the social scene.

I should have just gotten up from my chair, walked over to where you were sitting, and just asked you on a date. I should have done it. I should have, would have, could have, but I didn't. Now, I'm sitting on a computer in the PC lab typing this with a piece of paper in my jacket pocket with my phone number written on it because I couldn't stick my neck out long enough to show that I wasn't a coward. When did I start being this way?

In elementary school, I was very social, I had a load of friends and I was vocal and could express myself. In middle school I became complacent, why? Was it me looking in the mirror and thinking I wasn't good enough? Was it everyone else around me who seemed to be doing so well while, at the same time, on the inside I was falling behind? I always thought that I was more mature than most of the kids in middle school but now I just feel way too immature for college, not in a partying or fart-joke kind of way, maybe like an immaturity in knowing my own abilities?

Does life grant third chances (which doesn't even sound right)? Will/Can I learn my lesson? Stay tuned for more heart stopping, brain teasing, heart aching action on Eric Ruelle's blog!

On a side note...I have no idea what I'm doing this summer...backpacking around Europe has become the new number one choice.