Sometimes when I look at a blank blog post box I get a little intimidated. There's so much I could choose to put in or just leave out and an astounding amount of it remains somewhere scribbled on scraps of paper in a notebook or on posts that never got published on the front page of the blog; there is always a chance an idea may never see the reaction of another's other than my own.

I have a lot to say normally, in my head that is. I guess you really have to understand less is more when I'm speaking. The more concise I am the longer I've thought about it. The more time I take explaining something I don't know, or haven't worked out very well, is often when I start to flounder.

My life has been crazy of late.

I ran into someone from my hometown that actually teaches at DePaul now! I'm really excited to see her again and hopefully we can meet up sometime. I'm fascinated when I see people from home in Chicago, let alone at DePaul; I'd definitely like to talk and get to know her better if there's a chance. Could this be a product of homesickness? Before, we had a working relationship when we were in theater, when I was in high school, and I don't remember what she was doing at the time- still in school somewhere probably.

Another one of my long lost friends from theater in middle school found me too. I guess we "dated," or we called it that. She lived a distance away and I think I only saw her once or twice before losing contact with her. Relationships were hard without text messaging in middle school haha.

I get my hopes up. I do. Even though I try not to. There's a part of me that wants to be gullible and believe everything but there's always that feeling where nothing is for sure. Heresy is my addiction lately.

And now it's bedtime- my favorite time because I've been severely lacking it. I'll dream about tomorrow probably, or being in a rocketship, or maybe an excursion to the beach, a sunflower coming to life, or hopefully something more substantial- a look at what I want the most. (I almost made it an entire blog without alluding to my heart or my ongoing struggles in that department, damn).

Normally I wouldn't post a blog just to do it and have another entry, but up until May 21st I had more blog posts than Jason Mraz (and I was pretty proud of that). I haven't checked since then but either way I feel I have been a little bit slacking on this so, here's what I gotta say.

These past few weeks have been ridiculous, a whirlwind of discombobulated snapshots over what seemed to be three days. I'm sitting and reflecting on my mugging, the outpouring of emotion from my friends, the reconnection and loss of a friend, my new job, and sincere "up in the air" future plans.

I still have no idea where I'm living next year. I still have no idea which class I'm teaching next quarter. I still have no idea where I'm going to stay my entire trip in Europe. I'm stuck in limbo for many of these things without a sense of when I'll be able to find out. It's kind of been a trend lately, just being in limbo, without any way of progressing; I feel like I can only lose out on what I've gained at this point.

I'm so ambiguous sometimes.

I got a new job working with my supervisor from my other job in Englewood. I like it a lot more.

2 weeks left of school! Since Memorial Day is a holiday DePaul takes off, two of my one-day a week classes are cancelled so I only have one more class in those.

FEST is next week. LUDACRIS! So excited. Also that weekend I'm going to see the Chicago Fire play AC Milan. My Memorial Day weekends have been pretty awesome for the past few years so I'm glad it's continuing the tradition.

Nervous about Europe. I feel like I have so much to plan but at the same time I don't really. Maybe because it's going to be only me. Probably.

Had a photo shoot Wednesday and Saturday. One for DePaul and one that is getting me headshots for acting.

From my poetry class I'm getting poetry overload. I'm still writing though. I'm writing A LOT. A lot of other stuff that has nothing to do with my blog, in preparation for this summer's projects.

There's really a lot going on right now in my life. Both good and bad.