Editor's Notes:
*The type of males that are referred to in this blog need to realize they put me in a place where I look better because of the stupid stuff that they do. I encourage those people to keep doing what they're doing.
*You certainly get a lot of attention. Comparatively, how bad was I?
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I look back and think about how my relationships I've had could have worked out. There's the- "I don't know what I'm doing and I'm sorry I dragged you into this mess of a person" relationship-, the -"if we were a little less busy and a little more committed to it" relationship-, and the -"I'll do anything to make you happy if you just give me the chance.......um, nothing?" relationship-. Generally, I pick the most recent one to do analysis on, and I figure I'm seeing some things from a different perspective than I normally would.
Now, I know I'm no upstanding moral authority on treating women how they should be treated (I do what I can), but hell, I'm not asking for that role because there's too much pressure to perform and nobody is absolutely perfect. However, I do think I have the upper hand on a lot of gentleman who seem to take their ego far too personally to be considered a gentleman anymore; and yes, I have an ego too, but I recognize that it can get out of control, and when it does, it can be considered a bad thing.
Stop grabbing your junk and thinking you're entitled to a relationship because you have a pair. You should know that people can make up their minds as quickly and as easily as you can. Casting aside ex-lovers and then getting buyer's remorse isn't an excuse to act like you are worth the trouble. You don't invest your time and effort into something and expect it to magically erupt into a fountain of gummy bears and sugar coated lollipops of love and affection. And if it does go wrong, you need to understand where and when to draw the line. I did. I drew the line and found out that the other person wasn't willing to come on my side of the chasm. It was fine because we were both safe on our respective sides- I let the situation go and did not assume something that wasn't there because what I wanted, wasn't what the other person wanted, and it still seems to be the case. Maybe I've grown used to this response, but hey, this is what life teaches us: roll with the punches, live with your decisions, and treat others how you want to be treated.
It's hard to know someone right off the bat and nobody should necessarily jump to conclusions based on a first impression. This is college though, everyone's a little thirsty, and wants something. I did, I admit it. I should have gotten to know the person better before I started throwing everything but the kitchen sink at her. My mistake, and I'm taking the chance to reverse that, lucky enough to have been offered that chance.
I try to separate myself from those other heterosexual males that require a life support when it comes to intelligence or the ones who need a guy twice as big to come by and slap whatever stupid sense they have of being better than someone else out of their system. I might be a little skinnier and a little less muscular, but I also do the little things...I listen, I give, I accept, I think, I care, I compromise, and I try. Some people may call these little things; I do, because it's natural for me to do them. I don't need to be shaken or put on "Tool Academy" to become aware of them.
And I know some of you reading this aren't like that- God bless you for being better than what the expectations are for our sexual identity. I hope that one day, if not already, you find true happiness in someone else who compliments you and is worth every breath and heartbeat that you would so easily give just to spend time with them.
In the end, you sometimes aren't as cool as you think you are. Tell me about it. I've been there. Reality checks come in different forms. Get your head right.
Ask yourself these questions:
*What kind of relationship do you deserve? And can he/she give it to you?*
*If yes, what's stopping you? If no, who can?*
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