Okay, it's here now. C'mon Eric accept it- accept the fact that in mere hours you'll be heading to the airport for the first leg of your journey; a journey that will lead you across two continents, seven countries, and a variety of other intangibles.

But I can't.

It's hard to look down the mouth of an adventure and tell what's waiting for you once you plunge yourself into it. I have no choice but to grit my teeth, lower my right shoulder, and plow into it with all I've got.

I leave for Cairo, Egypt at 3:15am for a 6:00am flight. It will be the longest day of my life because I don't get to Cairo until 12pm the following day.

I don't know how much I'll update this blog, already I've begun work on a journal and that will be my primary place to put down what's happened to me. Check my Facebook for the most up to date stuff. I can't tell how often I'll touch that either.

I'll miss all of you, the ones who are most likely to read this. Take good care of yourselves and be safe. I imagine we'll see each other again soon whether that be back in Port Huron or in Chicago and we'll have lots to share. Know I look forward to this moment almost as much as my entire trip. Friends sometimes become like family and after saying goodbye to some of my friends last night, and most of my family today, it's all pretty heavy for me to be away and alone for that long.

Send me your prayers, well wishes, or what-have-you because I'll need them. Keep in touch please. Leave me messages on my Facebook wall and I'll write you back. This is going to be a ridiculous time in my life and like I've said before many good things will come from it. Don't let one of the drawbacks be losing touch with some of you.

I wish I had a better conclusion, but I don't.

Always,
Eric

I went out to lunch with my friends today and got a fortune cookie. Inside it read: "Get your mind set...Confidence will lead you on."

As earlier posts would suggest, I am a pretty superstitious person. I may not believe in my horoscope but I definitely look at them and try and attribute it to my life, or try and rebuke it. Strangely, the fortune cookie has some relevance to my situation in getting ready for Europe.

I am nervous and I think it's been clear to the people I've talked to about the trip. There's so much for me to plan myself that at times I think its over my head. Confidence is definitely something I need going into Monday morning. Truthfully, I believe I'm going to be fine and since I'm such an independent person already I can combine that with my resourcefulness to at least survive the 43 days.

Short post today- long day of packing, visiting, and planning tomorrow. Interesting.

Bee-tee-dubs:
I'm going to do great things one day, things that I am proud of and love doing; I'm beginning to see what lies ahead of me and I'm excited. I'm excited to share this with all of you. A lot can happen in the two years I still have left in undergrad...stay tuned.

I'm feeling frisky today, why not do two posts at one time; it's my blog, I do what I want. That, and I feel that last blog was uninteresting.

Chicago won the Stanley Cup. Just making sure you knew, if you hadn't heard already from the thousands of "supporters" around Chicago. Props to those that were actually fans before they started televising the games a few years ago, you deserved this win.

I think Chicago is a crazy city, like, literally mentally disturbed on some level. There's the good, bad, and turrrible; I've experienced all of this.

I felt guilty on the way home from Chicago because my parents stopped at a BP gas station; however, the gas was ten cents cheaper and it wasn't full of people like the one across the street. Either way, I hope all of that money is going towards helping clean up that mess- doubt it though. Was watching the news today and it said that BP was a 9 billion dollar industry last year. How does this happen? When does a company stop caring about the customers? Is it as soon as they start making money?

I bet if I didn't post a link on my facebook every other blog everyone would forget about it.

That's another thing. I have been in a piss-poor mood lately and have no clue why, and it's mostly just me putting myself down. What am I gonna do when I'm in Europe and only have myself to keep me company? Oh the inner monologues that will come about.

Every time I drive my van I appreciate it that much more. Not only does it have a couch in the back, but an inner tube, and countless other surprises. You Chicagoans know nothing of the joy of riding in my van; shame.

Everyone should visit Port Huron once in their life, I've decided. I think you should come between July 27th and August 18th, just sayin'.

What's going to happen when Paris Hilton dies? Will the media apologize for all that it's done to help further her career but at the same time ruin it? Will the media ever be apologetic for anything? I have a growing distrust of anything with a live microphone and an outlet to reach millions of people at once- but that's just me.

Do people really care about what's going on in my life when I write these blogs? I wrote an entire research paper on blogs and still haven't come to a conclusion on that. It's like, people write these blogs for a few different reasons: (1) to further their interest in something, (2) to deal with issues that a person is facing, (3) to try and convince people of something, or (4) to recount experiences. What does the reader get out of these kind of blogs I'm writing? It's not like I'm saying any of my deepest darkest secrets like the fact, that yes, I did go to a Britney Spears concert in the summer going into 5th grade and actually enjoyed myself, and yes, I have a fear that I'm never good enough or I'll never be happy enough to ever be considered a true optimist; I'm very hopeful that things work out but there's always that little itch. By the way, if I'm to continue this brief honesty of the moment, if you have any question, and I mean ANY question go ahead and ask me. Comment on this blog and I will answer any question, straight up. This blog only though...don't go to the one before this and ask me a question, I will ignore it. Furthermore, if you don't feel like asking me through this find me on my social networking sites and ask; this is legit people. I am not getting a formspring account

Song I had cranked in my van while driving down the street of Port Huron:

How I didn't know that I was going to be gone for 43 days completely boggles my mind. I knew that I was going to be in Europe for a while, but 43 days? I had to count the number today and was pretty shocked to find the actual number. Oh well I guess,...there's no reason not to go for that long...aside from the money issue.

I originally planned to take "x" amount of dollars to Europe. It was a fair number and I thought I had enough to spend. My mind was opened when I took the number of days (43) and divided it from "x" and found that my daily living expenses would be very, very low.

It's safe to say that it's a good thing I did most of my financial stuff today because by 4:00pm I still had some left to do and without tomorrow to finish, Saturday and Sunday would have marked the days where banks are closed and I'd be left without a cent.

I rolled coins for an hour or so with my parents on the living room floor. I then took those coins to TCF where I found the only way I can get money for the coins is if I run it through a change machine, so pretty much all that effort in rolling coins was in vain; at least I knew roughly how much money would come from just the coins. At TCF I got traveler's checks and almost cleaned my account out. At E&A I did just that by closing that account and getting more traveler's checks for my trip.

It's safe to say that financial issues may prove to be an issue over in Europe, but we'll see. There's nothing I can do now but to be smart about how and what I spend my money on. As my mother graciously put, "It's not like he's old enough to drink and go to the bars for hours." While I am old enough to drink throughout Europe I got her point that I won't be spending a majority of my time in pubs, but I won't count them out completely haha.

My mom woke me up at noon this morning when i could have easily slept past 1pm. I'm not upset about that part; I'm upset at the way she chose to go about waking me up.

She walked in the room, over to my window and said, "It's 12 o'clock. I want you to put your clothes away. You still have a lot to do."

No response from me whatsoever, but I was awake, just laying there letting feeling return to my body.

"Now, Eric, don't wait until your father gets home."

Well, before I was just about to turn twenty years old, the threat of having my dad come home to find me lazing around the house without having done what my mother told me to do frightened the fuck out of me; no boy wants to disappoint his father and be lectured on respect and responsibility and be docked on merit.

But today, after my mother said it, I laid back down and thought about it for a half hour. My mom has used this trick throughout my entire life but I'm surprised she used it after I've been living in a different state for two years on my own, but I suppose she forgot in that instance. Normally, after ten or so minutes, she'd come back and try and wake me up again but today she didn't. I think she realized at the same time I did that I don't need to be threatened to get my chores done around the house anymore; I've dealt with responsibility and know my role in the house and exactly what I need to do for myself. I don't need someone breathing down my back to figure out logical steps, it's just insane to think that by this point in my life I would still need that type of guidance.

Either way, dad found out a way to lecture/yell at me about something today. My friends were coming over and I hadn't done the dishes (which I wasn't aware of until he told me)...apparently I missed the one essential thing that has to be done in order for my friends to come; my friends, who come over every other night it seems when I'm home and have seen the house in much worse condition. Sometimes, I just don't understand my father and what he's trying to teach me or mold me into. I've already become so much like him that I hope there's some room left for me to be me.

Chalk it up to nervous angst but life either way has accelerated even more since I got home from Chicago. I turned in my finals like a good student and the packing and moving was done in one day, though I'm still putting things back in order at home (at least the way my parents want them to be).

Five days. Five days. Only five until I will leave the country with only a backpack full of stuff to last me a week plus a month. Just let that soak in; how would it make you feel? I've been given a grand opportunity to do this whole thing but don't think for a second I am entitled to this and that because of my parents I'm able to go on this trip; I've gotten that reaction and it really bothers me because I'm so young they think I haven't done much that merits a trip like this.

True, my parents are letting me gallivant across Europe but they in no way paid for my trip, their involvement includes picking me up and dropping me off from the airport. I have had a job since I was a freshman in high school and was good about saving my money up in order to do something of this magnitude. And yes, I did have parents that helped me with necessary costs along the way but it's something that everyone can do if they work hard enough for it, and I believe I did.

I leave for Cairo, Egypt on the 14th and arrive there the 15th. I will stay in Cairo until the 20th and have a nineteen hour layover in Athens on my way to Madrid, Spain. From there I will travel to Barcelona, Marseilles, Paris, Rome, London, Dublin, and fly out of Shannon, Ireland on the 26th of July. Those are the dates of the trip and stops I want to hit.

I will be traveling alone. I will be very lonely and am already starting to feel the effects of not having anybody to share this experience with. I am a lot sad but I hope it can do wonders for my writing. I already have a screenplay in the works that I'm hoping to send in to be reviewed. The story, I think, is pretty good and I'm just brimming with anticipation to get writing it. Other than that I'm going to be writing 2-minute plays to add to my repertoire so when the time comes that I get an audition or someone wants to see what I'm made of I'll have those at hand. There are so many things that are going to come out of this trip.

Summer will seem shorter at home. I'm not all too sad. I still get to see everyone and spend a great deal of time with them. Relaxation has got to be a top priority when I get back from Europe, ya know the kind, the lazy couch potato maybe-do-some-door-decs kinda thing, right? Who knows.

I believe my bed time has been reached. I really want to say that I miss all of you back in Chicago and I hope the people who are reading this in Port Huron will make an effort to contact me to hangout. I really have so little time left it's hard to plan all this stuff around yours and my free time.

PS- Dear So and So:
       I don't know
       if you're reading this
       but I sincerely miss
       all that little time we spent
       together, but know it meant
       all the world to me so as I
       set sail for new horizons
       know that you'll be on my mind
       while I write and walk from place to place
       no sooner will I forget your face because
       everywhere I go is like a postcard-
       "I wish you were here"

-Eric

I could have easily said that I was just going to go to bed after being up for 39 hours straight (maybe a personal record?), with a combined total of 11 hours slept the previous two days, but I have something I want to make sure I say before I leave Chicago and the rest of the country next Monday; I don't know how much other time I'll have to devote to blogging either.

I write about it a lot but since January I have been volunteering with the Neo-Futurists. I saw my first 'Too Much Light Makes the Baby Go Blind' show this past September and was instantly blown away by the style of theater that was being performed, it had been unlike anything I had seen before; I share similar sensibilities about breaking the fourth wall between audience and performers and the writing from personal experience aspect but this had been done with such professionalism.

After the show, I did my own research and found out about volunteering and months later, here I am, about to leave Chicago for the summer, and sad I won't be able to volunteer with them again until I get back in August because I truly love what I get to do.

Oh dear, I'm running on complete empty on the energy meter and loft and fridge move-out begins in two hours. From there I go straight to the Chicago Quarter Mentor kickoff and get to go right back to moving out fridges and lofts once the kickoff is done. Did I mention tonight that I'm also going to the Neo Futurists again? I won't be out until 1a and my head won't hit the pillow until at least 2a or 2:30a.

These past few days have been absolutely carayzee!!! I had an 8page research paper due and because of some unforeseen blockage in what I was trying to accomplish I had to stay up until roughly 5a doing my research paper Wednesday night going into Thursday morning. And thankfully, I still have been maintaining a social life and went to a party Thursday night that ended up being incredibly awesome; it was a themed party of "Hipster Nation" and everyone in attendance was hipstered out. However, I didn't get home from that until 3:30a and still had homework due at noon the next morning, so by the time I ended up retyping an essay I had already submitted (after losing it because of the mugging incident) and the rest of my lesson plans for Common Hour, I got to sleep around 4:15a. Both days I texted one or two of my friends to make sure I was awake in time for the classes because I don't trust the alarm on my phone.

So, now we're up to last night where I went over to Tom and Damien's. We watched The Prestige and I thoroughly enjoyed it, especially after the movie where you wanted to discuss it for a-good-nother hour trying to figure out what the heck was going on. It wasn't like we were completely lost because it was definitely a movie that pulled it off. Here's the kicker though: on my way home I ran into some of my hipster friends from the night before and they invited me to another party. Being the social butterfly that I am I said it'd be fun to see a bunch of other people and some of the same from the party Thursday night.

Now, I'm sitting at my computer typing this without more than ten minutes of sleep (if that) to my credit for today. You may be wondering to yourself how I'm going to get through today without having much sleep in the past few days; well, lads and lasses, when I figure that out I'll let you know but it's probably going to be involving over consumption of caffeine and attempts to stay active today, and with the schedule I have going for today, it doesn't look like I'll have a problem with the 'active' part.

By the way, at one point will things start to make sense to me as far as "social norms" go? I feel like there was a big section of my life where I was supposed to learn so much about stuff that now that I'm in college I feel awkward when I don't know what to do, where to go, when should things happen. Why can't there just be a syllabus on how things should work, ya know? (my inner CQM coming out, RUN! jk).

Anyways, I guess I'll get to doing some stuff before my duty starts for the day. I believe I need food this second in my tummy but since I don't have any I'm going to drink the chocolate milk that occupys my fridge and hope I can eat a large meal soooooon.

Adios for now readers
-Eric

15 days? 15 days?! Are you fkng kidding me?!

I'll be in EGYPT in 15 DAYS?! I can't believe it. The time flew, right into the front of a semi-truck; I am not prepared to leave this country that soon.

There's been good and bad since I posted last...

I went to the Neo-Futurists again this past Saturday. It's not like a recent revelation, but I realize that I want to do anything I can for that ensemble. I am inspired by the people that are there and my time would be so well spent helping them out and learning on the side; I feel like against all my schoolwork and RA duties in the fall that I could still do it and I don't care if I can't because I'm going to try anyway, so I sent an email to them saying that I wanted to intern. The wheels are turning in more ways than one.

I went to a Chicago Fire game vs. AC Milan. AMAZING game. Ronaldhino played! AC won 1-0 but I was happy I got to see it with one of my best friends at DePaul :)

FEST was crazy cool! LUDA. All the bands performed well. Can we get a DJ next year for After-hours though? Please?

Certainly I have made a fool of myself in my many years on this Earth, often times unavoidably. I can't help it, ya know? Theater made me the way I am. Anyways, I made a shamble of myself on Friday when I couldn't find my friend's apartment, you know the situation, she had to come and find where I was. Well, we had a really nice time (doing schoolwork of course) and after I had left I realized I forgot my laptop chord (doh!). So, I went back and called her when I was close...again I walked right past her place. Ugh...my brain was fried that day, I guess.

Some things I have to accept, but I can't; I literally, can't. I don't want to give up, even when there's clear reason to believe another person wants to.

Ahhhh, this University Hall thing is growing old...I'm ready to move on.

I still have a lot of work to do for classes unfortunately. Tonight I have to, have to, get done my 15 page screenplay. I'm on page 11 now and I just can't wait to get it over with so I can move onto something else. Page restrictions are so....restricting.

Thursday I have an 8 page research paper due that I haven't started...oops? No. I did that on purpose, just to prove something. I won't say because I never know who reads this,...possibly my professor?

My Peer Education portfolio is due Friday.

Finally my poetry portfolio is due Monday...easy. Not worried.

Europe though,...sheeee; I guess you could say- I'm worried.